Communications between Men and Women
Communication is and will continue to be an important aspect of human life. Throughout the history of mankind, communication has always acted as a way of either bringing people together or separating them.
In line with this, when there was understanding of one another in any communication setup, a mutual relationship was established. However, when any form of communication failed between two or more people, a conflict was established. In this regard, this aspect of human life had a powerful ability of either gathering people together or creating enmity between them. Researches that were carried out in the past found out that there was a difference in the way people communicated with each other in the society. Among the most known forms of communication was verbal and non-verbal communication.
Despite these being the known methods of communication in the society, it was also found out that there were different styles of communication that were employed in any form of communication between men and women in the society. In reference to Goodall, Goodall Jr. and Schiefelbein (2009), the difference in communication styles between men and women was attributed to the fact that men used a different part of the brain from that of women in communicating and specifically in listening (85). From this perspective, this research paper explored or rather examined different styles of communication between men and women in the society. Research Findings and DiscussionIt was found out that the aim of using language both among men and women varied greatly from each. In other words, men used language to communicate yet with an aim of achieving a different purpose from that of women.
Studies and researches that were carried out in the past reveal that men communicated to affirm their authority in the society. The male world comprised of a place where individuals fought to be at the top. Therefore, when men communicated, they did this with an aim of showing their peers the authority they had in the society. According to Crooks and Baur (2008), communication as used by men was a contest that was meant to create for them a certain status in the society (189). In this regard, a man that was affected by this mode of communication often asked for advice in order to find a way of elevating his status in the society or within a particular group.
Women on the other hand used communication as a way of creating an intimate relationship with the one they were communicating with. Crooks and Baur (2008) asserted that women did not use language or rather communication as a defensive tool to avoid being down or to dominate others but rather as a tool for creating a lasting bond with one another (190). Communication between or among women was meant to establish an equal level with each other rather than creating communication classes among them. Similarly, a sense that one was not alone in a particular issue played a critical role in communication among women. As a matter of fact, women communicated in order to gain a sense of belonging to one another.
In this regard, a woman sought to be listened to and understood by the person they were communicating with while men communicated to offer solutions or advice to the perceived problems.The domineering form of communication among men was found to follow a hierarchical communication style. This was a form of communication whereby an issue was raised by an influential person in a group and then went ahead to influence greatly on the decision that was made without necessarily factoring in the opinions that were raised by other people in this group. This form of communication was attributed to men due to their nature of affirming their authority in any group they were appointed to oversee. As a result, communication among men focused on providing solution or rather information on what the group needed rather than what was needed by an individual thus the absence of consensus among their communication (Tannen 86).
On the other hand, women, since they were aligned towards creating a rapport with the people they communicated with, preferred a consensus form of communication. This was done in such a way that whenever there arose an issue in a particular group, women leaders would allow members of this group to discuss under their leadership what these members saw fit for the group (Tannen 4). Therefore, women provided a leeway for other members to air their views not just for the sake of formality. These views were taken into consideration when the final decisions were made. Therefore, there was a form of democracy in the communication styles of women more than in the men’s communication styles.The hierarchical form of communication was however found to have an element of dictatorship and thus killed the morale that individuals in a certain group had towards a particular task that they were undertaking.
For instance, Barrett and Davidson (2006) argue that a hierarchical form of communication was found to violate the rights of other members in any particular group since this form of communication worked on ways of dominating rather than allowing democracy to be the policy of such a group (122). Therefore, whereas it was easy to see how decisions were made quickly in such a group, one could not ignore the fact that members that were found in this group where hierarchical communication was practiced by their leader were demoralized since they could not exercise their rights.In contrast with hierarchical form of communication, consensus form of communication that was dominant among women was found to allow democracy to thrive rather than relying on a dictatorship or authoritarian form of leadership. This form of communication among women focussed on allowing its members to have a collective responsibility towards a particular issue that was being handled. According to Barrett and Davidson (2006), women spoke the language of ‘responsibility, the ethics of care’ on the premise of non-violence, i.
e. no one was to be heart by any form of communication (130). This was exemplified in the consensus form of communication. It was also noted that men communicated to report or rather deliver certain information to others. On the other hand, women were found to use communication as a way of building rapport between them and other people in the society.
In line with this, men would require nothing more after they had given out or rather passed the message they intended to communicate. For example, when men reported on a particular issue, they were not keen enough to collect views or perceptions of others in regard to the message they had delivered. On the contrary, women used communication as a way of creating a large circle of friendship while breaking the existence of the formal boundaries between them and the people they are communicated with. As a result of this, collecting feedbacks was one of the most important elements in their communication processes (Goodall, Goodall Jr. and Schiefelbein 85).
It was also found out that communication had different types of components that supported any healthy form of communication. In this regard, one of the most important components of communication was listening. Both sexes had to listen in order for them to be in a position of understand what was being communicated. From this point of view, listening as a communication component varied greatly among men and women. It was found out that men had a different style of listening from that of women. In most cases, men would listen to a conversation while doing other things thus avoiding eye contact (Tannen 1990).
This to women was a sign that these men were not listening to the conversation and in most cases, it would result to conflicts between the two sexes. In contrast, women listened while at the same time maintaining eye contact. Women face each other while talking. This to men was not an issue of concern in their conversations. In summation, communication is an important aspect of human development and existence in the society.
As a result, communication was found to have an ability to build or destroy the society in which it was being done. In this regard, there were different communication styles that were employed by both men and women in passing across their message or rather in communicating. Communication among men was mainly done to affirm their masculinity in the society. In other words, communication among men was a tool that was meant to elevate them to new standards or status in the society. On the contrary, women communicated in order to create lasting relationship between them and the people they met. As a result, building rapport was one of the main issues or factors that were highly considered among women.
Men therefore employed a hierarchical style of communication whereby their communication was meant to have a greater influence on the people they were communicating with whereas women focused on a consensus form of communication that factored in views from other people, thus avoiding hurting other people through their communication.
