One Word

College is by far one of the scariest things I have dealt with thus far in my entire life. Before even applying to college one must go through an extremely long and exhausting test that determines to colleges just how smart you are, after that then you have to fill out all of the applications to the colleges you want to go to and then if you are admitted to the colleges of your choice you then have to somehow figure out which one is best for you.

College just doesn’t seem worth the hassle. College; it’s only one word but it conjures so many emotions, like fear, excitement, nervousness and even insecurity. On one hand college is an exciting new chapter in student’s academic career, it’s a chance to start over and make new friends and have more opportunities. But on the other hand, from my point of view, college is an enormous decision that will change the rest of my life. College will be my first time living away from my mom and dad and having to do things on my own, which is scary. There will also be about 40,000 people that I won’t know at college and the size of the school is bigger than any other place I have ever seen.

I am excited to be away from my mom and dad but deep down I am afraid of being on my own and not having someone there to do everything for me, like doing my laundry and making my lunch for school. College is also scary to me because it means that I am growing up. When I was little all I wanted to do was grow up and be a teenager so I could drive and do cool things like see R-rated movies. Now that I’m here I wish I could have had more time to be a kid. When I was a kid I had very little responsibility, homework, and worries.

I could spend all Saturday watching cartoons, and no one would yell at me for ignoring my homework. Being a kid was probably the best time in my life because there was very little stress and things were much simpler then. Many people say that growing up means moving on to bigger and better things but I am afraid of moving on because I don’t know what I want to do with my life and I am afraid that once I get to college that won’t change, that I’ll always be wondering what to do. Society today puts so much pressure on people to become successful and rich that it would almost seem a like a personal failure if I did not end up making a lot of money. I am afraid that I won’t make enough money to live the same life I was raised in. But I also don’t want to become a workaholic and never have any fun in life.

I am afraid of being someone that just works and never even gets out of my own house. I am mostly afraid because when I think of where I want to be in the future I have no idea. I don’t know which college I should choose or what I should major in so that I will have a job one day that I like and that makes a decent amount of money. I’ll admit it, college scares me silly, and I think that’s the one thing I dislike most about college, it makes me afraid of everything in my future. I know that college will be fun and that in the end everything will work itself out, but it’s the middle part of the journey I am worried about.

The more time I spend worrying about college the more worked up I get, so I guess the only thing for me to do now is relax and enjoy the ride.