A Modest Proposal: A Satirical Solution for Illegal Gun Use
FOR PREVENTING THE ESCALATION AND LONG TERM PERPETUATION OF ILLEGAL GUN USE It is a melancholy object to those who encounter our country or encounter it briefly to find a safer environment, without so much violence, to raise their children. Then they see the exponential dangers of illegal gun use. If left unsolved this will result in people not wanting to live in America. In extreme cases, everyone dying (Exaggeration). I think it is agreed by all parties that the life-threatening occurrence of illegal gun use and its present severe country-wide epidemic; and therefore whoever could find out an inexpensive, easily executed way of stopping illegal gun use would get a reward of $10 million, and they get to become president.
But my intention is far from being confined to provide only for the betterment of the community; all of the law breakers will no longer bother us. They will Not be able to bother us. Although they will be in a better place. As to my own part, I have studied the proposals of other projectors, and concluded that they are not nearly as efficient as they claim to be. Their simple solutions of not selling guns, doing background checks, and even putting tracking chips in all of the weapons sold, will not be implemented fast enough to fight the already immense effects of illegal gun usage.
I have calculated that in 20 years everyone will have illegally owned guns in their house(Exaggeration). I propose that instead of slowly gathering up all of the unregistered firearms, we should just imbed an explosive device in all of the firearms. I will now present my own idea, which I hope is not subject to any disagreement. I humbly offer it to public consideration that mankind as a cohesive and cooperative unit, should abstain from using all firearms, even the military. This means we will become a country of peace and no violence will occur within its boundaries.
In this scenario, shooter video-games will become obsolete, and we will evolve beyond our petty rivalry. We will no longer have a problem with guns, if we forget about them. Of course the act of war will be prohibited, because this will use guns. Therefore our country will have to be nice with all of the other countries and not start any act of war with anyone. These drastic and sudden changes to our country will be vigorously difficult to enforce upon civilians, but these very important and key ideas will provide a better quality of life to you and those around you. All of the country will become dependent on each other so they can all be nice and stay friends (Exaggeration).
Problem Solved! I can think of no valid objection that may be introduced to antagonize this proposal, unless we somehow get ourselves into another war. We could still work together and power through as a peaceful nation that still never backs down. The effectiveness of the new and improved nation is based upon citizen participation. Again, no one should dare to suggest these notations to me until they have a small spark of hope that these actions may be implemented. It is not that I do not respect the input of others on the subject of the solution to this topic, but simply I have spent centuries researching and thinking about gun control, and I am certain that my solution is the best, if not the only solution to the problem that is illegal weapon usage.