The Role of Ambition
AmbitionAmbition, the drive that is needed in every human being to achieve their dream. Ambition sets apart the strong from the weak, the winners from the losers. I’ve always considered myself the strongest in that aspect. My ambition always set me apart from everyone else. All my life I’ve been called ambitious, by my parents, friends, and teachers. I’ve never let anything stand in my way.
Throughout out my years as a student I’ve worked my way from classes with accommodations, to honors courses. In fact I’ve thrived where others failed. Teachers marveled at my participation and immediate understanding of the subject. Students envied my favoritism and skills. I was so cocky that when I graduated I basically gave my high school the middle finger. I told almost every teacher and student that the next time they see me I’d be big.
There was no need for me to say I’d be back, because there was no chance of it. I had a scholarship to Arcadia, the top study abroad program in the country. I’d be traveling the world and broadening my horizons, while they were stuck in there little box. Well here’s the one thing I realized about the world, it’s a double edge sword. Yeah I had made it to Arcadia with an amazing scholarship, but so had almost every other person in the school. Oh and studying abroad is actually kind of expensive if you and your parents have no money.
My perfect work ethic was replaced with a new motto procrastination. I had assumed that having an two hour septa commute would only make me work harder, turns out its much harder than it looks. The point of all this is not to complain, I know people do this sort of thing every day. In fact its more to punish myself. These things should not be obstacles in my way, they should not be stopping me from achieving my goals, but somehow they are.
That mountain moving ambition that I used to have is starting to slip away from me. Making it big is starting to transform to finding a steady job and settling down. Graduating Magna Cum loti, yeah right how about making it out with my sanity. These thoughts literally scare the living hell out of me, this loss of ambition and individuality. I’m starting to realize that the world’s a big place with people who have the same dreams as me, and god forbid more motive and ambition to get it.
It’s like I’m fighting in a room full of competitors I can’t see, and from my end I feel like I’m getting my ass kicked.