Empathy

Have you ever had a disagreement with your parents about something you felt as if you did not do anything wrong? I never tried to understand why my father whom I love would always get frustrated because I was quiet. The worst argument I think we ever had was at some restaurant in South Texas where I was asked by my Dad to order food for the other five people in the house. When I talk to people I have never met I feel as if everyone is staring at me because I offended someone in some way I was not aware of. In the end, I learned that me and my father have a different set of skills. He can talk anyone for hours no matter if they have met before or not. I cannot.

We were outside of a Whataburger in south Texas which is a fast food restaurant mostly found in that area of the south. I had just finished a long day at school and wanted something to eat. My Dad suggested that we go to Whataburger and we set off. He knows it can be very difficult for me to talk to people, but he thinks that my shyness can only be cured by talking to people I do not know more and more. He told me to what to order and I did, three times.

I was being as loud as I could. They still could not hear me. My Dad, frustrated that I could not carry out a such simple task. Takes the list out of my hand and begins to read it to the person without saying a word to me. He did not speak to me on the way home.

When we get home from the longest car ride of my life he asks me why I couldn’t have done something so simple and that I was acting like a child. My Dad was raised in a distinct time in a different way than I was. He also has a personality that differs greatly fo that of mine. We are almost polar opposites when it comes to what is important to us and how we handle ourselves. In public, my Father is the person that comes up to you and starts a long conversation. He could talk to anyone about anything for hours.

It seems as if sometimes he has an issue with saying to much and spewing out whatever comes to his head without further thought on how he will effect the ones around him or he simply expects me to read his mind. When my Dad asks me to take out the trash to him it also means to check the house for more trash, move the trash cans out to the curb, feed the dog, and wash the dishes. His cryptic language often gets me in trouble because I do not understand him most of the time and forget to do something he “said” to do. Dad works in the oil and gas industry and hopes to become a realtor soon. He deals with people for a living ,but the people he talks to are all similar in personalities.

This is why I believe he has trouble talking to a quiet person who shares different emotions than him and are like me. I love both of my parents very much. Nothing could ever change that. Love does not always mean we always have to see things the same way or have the same experiences in life. My Dad has always been the type to speak his mind, and I respect someone who is honest sometimes his emotions get the best of them and he ends up hurting someone and it is usually me. I feel like some days I cannot talk to him.

He wants me to talk to him more but when I try I feel like he does not listen. I know he tries to, but he ends up being distracted by something else that is going on. He has never had good at focusing in on one thing at a time. I have learned that everyone is different and is good at different things. Some people are great at listening while others talk too much for their own good.

Everyone has different opinions on how things can be handled. My Father likes to handle things in an upfront way not caring how he gets somewhere so long as he gets there. I would rather work around the problem thinking of a way to do something without talking to people. I understand that we will only understand each other if we think about that other person’s past and how it will effect their actions. If everyone thought about the way people’s past experiences affect their opinions and actions we might all have a further understanding of each other. Think about it, how many arguments could you have avoided if both sides would have thought about what each person was going through and how their past will affect their decisions.