Gatsby Narrative

It was five years ago this autumn. I remember it all too well. She was the light that shone through the sharp darkness that once again resides inside of my hollow body. She seemed delicate then, so easy to lose.

But I never thought I actually would until recent times. I recall vividly the sweet scent of her perfume. It matched her heart. It was as if her name truly represented her. I remember walking through the wild city with her.

I was roughly debonair in those young years of life. And now look at me! Restless and alone. Yet, still I am in this deep stupor of this oblivion we so graciously call love. I failed her. I failed me. I failed us.

It’s almost as if I failed this unforgiving universe. Some may consider me lucky to have the privilege of knowing such a woman. For many merely go through the shortened days. How disappointing it must be to live a life of such boredom. To never truly experience life. Because trust me, old sport, until you meet that woman who changes your life forever, life is such a minuscule thing that we so carelessly throw away.

I valued every single second with her when we reconnected over tea. And oh, how I wish to go back in time five years ago. Today I realized something to the extremes of morbidly terrifying: I have spent the past five years of my life trying to uphold this absurd vision I have had for myself ever since I was a mere sixteen years of age. You see, there is this girl. Scratch that.

There is this woman whom I have loved going on five years now. It seems to me that the short time we did spend together was all anonymous to her. It’s as if I no longer existed. But then I saw you again. There she was siting amongst bouquets of bouquets in Nick’s chair. We spent the days following that in my house next door, drinking, dancing, loving each other.

It pains me to write this next part the most… But when the moment I witnessed Daisy telling Tom she had, in fact, loved him, was the moment time stopped for my world. Some say that in order to stop time you have to kiss someone. I say otherwise. If you wish to stop time, simply realized that your dream was all a wasteland of burning ashes. Realize that suddenly, none of the wealth you worked for not inherited, but worked for, means nothing now.

As a matter of fact, I dare you to go a step further and realize that the job you took on to support not only yourself, but that woman who you thought so fondly of, was a waste. All the time, all the effort, all the money spent was for nothing. Just think about it. I did everything in my power to win her over again. And yet, the heavens and the earth still refuse to align to this very night. It’s all gone now.

Forever. The light in my soul that kept my dream burning so intently with passion is gone in an instant.