Mixed lanes
I’ve been dreaming in my own world and I’ve come to the conclusion that I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. Well, that’s half true. I know I want to be independent, but that doesn’t mean I know what I want, or does it… I’ve been thinking about all the things I want to do (which are too much to mention) and I realized I love thinking up stories, hearing new languages and words and I always have a few ideas rambling in my brain for which I always have a pencil and paper nearby BUT then again whenever I can’t seem to think of something to write I go to the piano and dabble up some own compositions which sound pretty good (to me) and the music soothes me and gives a challenge BUT then again I like thinking about writing scripts and being behind a camera.
As any (great or poor) writer knows, whenever you write something you have an image you create or a story and you know how you want that image portrayed and depicted and screened. You, as a writer know exactly the feeling of the scene and that’s what also interests me BUT then again… Then again I have no idea which one will be the right choice! As an 18-year-old kid we’re suppose to know what we want to do with our lives, but sometimes you’re not even sure when the time gets closer, or you’re feeling pressured. Sometimes you don’t even know what you want for lunch! You have so many ideas and interest. For some it’s easier to choose, but for others (like me) it feels like you don’t want to go down the wrong path and realize 5 months later that what you thought you wanted, wasn’t for you. And sometimes whenever you want to do something you’re passionate about, others don’t have the same idea you have, they question your choices or don’t agree with your choice and make you question your own love for something and whether it is the right choice (and that road I have also seen) So now I’m here and it kinda feels like I’m stuck in the middle of the highway, not sure which lane to go into or which turn I should take. It feels like I’m getting a little claustrophobic from all the choices and all the opinions and all the lanes I have no idea where they will lead to… Remember when you were little and you wanted to be just like your parents, because what they did was so cool to you, or how you wanted to be a superhero or a princess or be a police officer or a doctor, because that was all you knew about.
If you think back to those views on what you wanted to do, you’ve changed a lot and you realize that some things you wanted to be were a little far-fetched, and that no-one can be Batman or Wonderwoman (because who wants to run around in a speedo and tights when its 10 degrees outside). But growing up you also realize that the villains they fought are still alive today, Not physically, I mean, but there are bad people in the world. So maybe growing up wanting to be WonderWoman or Batman wasn’t such a dumb idea, because they did a lot of good. Well, back to the dilemma… I’m still on my quest to finding ideas on these things, because believe it or not there are still some of us out there who aren’t 100% sure which path they should follow. Some say run free and fearless into the world, which might be good advice about not being scared, but not such good advice when you’re talking about your future or how you’re planning on living. But I do have one thing in mind – I want to be like WonderWoman and do some good in the world, even if it just helps one person.
