A Suicide Letter
It is with a heavy heart that I am addressing this letter to you, my beloved king, because, as you will discover soon enough it will be the last contact that we shall have in this Godforsaken place.
After a great soul searching and thinking, I have come to the only conclusion, that the option I am about to take will be best for me, as I don’t see any other way. I hope that you will understand my option and find some strength to forgive me, but most of all you should forgive yourself and seek God’s forgiveness because it is only God who can absolve you of your atrocities have no will to continue living and have decided to take my own life, but first I have to tell you a few things about yourself, that I would never have told you when I was alive. Since the unbelievable revelations by Tiresias, life has not been the same again and I know it never will be. You had chosen not to believe what Tiresia had told you and instead accused him of collaborating with Creon to see your downfall. Now that the truth has finally dawned on you, am sure you have discovered who was blinder between you and Tiresia. Your resentment towards innocent Tiresia, had clouded your vision for so long, that you chose not to listen to him.
Do you remember old Tiresias exact words when he was called upon to reveal your father’s killer, Laus or have you chosen to forget that as well.I will remind you, for I remember what he said crystal clearly. These are his exact words. , “I tell you this: the man you’ve searched for all along with threats and fanfares for the murder of King Laius- that man, I say, is here”. Did it even occur to you that, that man was you? But again, how could you when you were shrouded in your own pride of self righteousness. Tell me my king, if you were in my shoes, would you continue living with a man who killed his own father out of a trivial reason? You are just another bloodthirsty monster, with no care in the world as to whom you kill or hurt to fulfill your ego.
What is the use of going of living if you are already dead inside? You have brought a great tragedy to our beloved land. To your family, you have brought us all shame that has never been witnessed or heard anywhere else on the face of the earth. With all the love and respect that I’ve had for you for all those years, it is hard to come to terms with the truth that I’ve heard from Tiresias, of which we both know he was right. Ican not wait to know more, neither do I want to hear anything of it because, even the devil himself can shy away from doing what you did. The gods must have cursed you to bring unto the people of Athens a tragedy, which defies human imagination. My, King, how did all these happen? All those years, sleeping with your mother? How did you let it happen? Didn’t you even possess some natural instinct, which you felt deep down, telling you that the Queen Jocasta whom you had married was your own flesh? She should have had you killed years ago instead of giving you away, as all this would never have happened.
Don’t you know what the wise men said.” show me a greater crime in all the earth! She, she destroys cities, rips up houses, breaks the ranks of spearmen into headlong rout. But the ones who last it out, the great mass of them owe their lives to discipline. Therefore we must defend the men who live by law, never let some woman triumph over us. Better to fall from power, if fall we must, at the hands of a man, never be rated inferior to a woman, never”.
Always remember as you head to Hades that it is a woman who brought you down. Even kings like you can be brought down by women. When I imagine that I have slept with you, I feel my skin cringe. You have infected me with an abomination that I believe cannot be absolved in this life. How do you expect me to face the world when everybody now knows the truth that you slept with your mother? What would that make me? The burden of shame that you have placed upon my shoulders is too much to bear. Only death can save me face.
Living with you would be worse than living with the devil himself. You have been a murderer and an adulterer who has surpassed human limits of wickedness. I wonder what will become of your daughters, Antigone and Ismene(or are you’re your sisters).I pity them very much of the curse of being born by such a monster as you are. I would understand if they decided to follow my lead, for I know that the rest of their lives, should they decide to continue living, will be full of untold misery.
I overheard Ismene talking to her sister and the pain of her words was evident of the predicament you have placed the girls in.I remember her exact word, which I will tell you .These are Antigone’s painful words” Dear sister, dear Ismene, how many griefs our father Oedipus handed down! Do you know one, I ask you, one grief that Zeus will not perfect for the two of us while we still live and breathe? There’s nothing, no pain—our lives are pain—no private shame, no public disgrace, nothing I haven’t seen in your grief and mine”. They both knew that they have no place to hide their shame on this land. My beloved king, do you remember the day when you slapped me for telling you that you were not god and that you were just a mere mortal like the rest of us ,your subjects? Isn’t that what happened when you swung that club, in a fit of anger killing your father? You never ever wanted to listen to anyone, and your fits of anger were legendary.
I have forgiven you for slapping me, but for killing your father, it is only God who can forgive you. I am sure that by now you have realized that, and I know it is eating at your soul. The blood of your father, Lauis, which you so mercilessly spilt is beckoning for you from the underworld and the curse of sleeping with you mother is upon you now. I don’t want to be a part of your misery, by the mere default of being your wife, so I have decided to take my life so as to go away from you as far as possible.I have no regrets telling you what I have said because I know I won’t be there for you to victimize me as used to do.
As I die, at least I know I have told you the truth. That you were a curse in this kingdom and you should never have been a king. I hope that you suffer and rot in hell, just as you have made innocent people suffer for your egoistic tendencies. You and no one else have made me to kill myself. My death will be one more death on your soul which you will pay for, in the afterlife.
Hades is the only place for you to go where you will face your mother and father and tell why you did what you did. I am sure that they will be eagerly waiting for you there with a million and one questions As I end my letter and head to the afterlife, I will tell you a word that should give you a bit of solace as you prepare to go to Hades, weep no more. Here where the dark forces store up kindness both for living and the dead, there is no room for grieving here—it might bring down the anger of the gods. It’s only the gods who can forgive you and not mortals like me, nor the people of Thebes. My time is now up and I am ready to go, to a place where there is no shame and misery. Now it is my time to go to a world where I won’t have to see you.
Bye, bye my King.