Breaking Up With High School

Heads are tightly fitted into the undersized mortarboards, arms are shimmied into the silky sleeves and butterflies arise in the stomachs of those who are about to make a transition in their life. Only thing different this time? It isn’t me. I see pictures posted on all forms of social media from events preceding the big day. From senior bbqs to senioritis to prom.

I feel as though I’m living it all again. This past year as I enjoyed my first year of college, I kept thinking to myself, This is just a fun getaway! You’ll go back to Prospect high school again and be able to live your carefree high schools days all over again. I was in denial. I couldn’t escape it. I didn’t want to grow up. I wanted to be a teenager forever.

I didn’t want to have to think about jobs, payments or any of that other grown up stuff. I wanted to stay in those familiar halls forever. I still wanted to hear my name be screamed down the hall by teachers I did and didn’t know. I enjoyed the stained carpet, the graffiti in the bathrooms and the bipolar air conditioning system. I was constantly surrounded by a support system that had a genuine care for their students.

Lessons were learned in those classrooms. Heartbreaks were fixed in the hallways. Fights in the bathroom and gossip in the cafeteria. I thought that if I went back after graduation that it would all be the same. That I would feel just like a high school kid again. But I didn’t.

I was a 19 year old girl (woman) who was (unintentionally) ready to move on from those high school days and to begin a life beyond the classrooms. And so, exactly one year later, after crying a time or two, I have decided that it is time to move onwards and to stop dwelling in the past and trying to relive my high school days when we all know that they aren’t coming back. Memories will live on but it is time to start focusing on whats still to come. High school will forever hold a special place in my heart.