Modest Proposal For the government shutdown
A modest proposal for the savior of the citizens of the United States from the claws of the unbearable government. -For the United States government shut down, the government is slowly slipping into a ditch that it has dug itself with no one trying to fill the ditch but only stand and watch. Today’s veterans that once fought for our country and risked their lives for our freedom came together on a warm sunny day to their nations monuments to acknowledge what beautiful mementos were made to conserve the Nation’s history. Their beautiful day was ruined by a simple sign.
“Because Of The Government SHUTDOWN, All National Parks Are CLOSED.” The veterans were appalled to see that their own government was going to let them down, let down the ones that made this country what it is today. How embarrassing is that Mr. President, Congressman and Senate. Brought forth to the table is a simple solution.
A solution that would end this treachery, it all starts with some advanced technology. A dog would have to be genetically modified so that clones of the same dog would be made. This wouldn’t be any dog though; it would be the smartest one on the planet earth. This dog would be cloned into the number of people in the white house and sent to replace them. Then the white house employees would be modified into animals to wander the world, not being able to cause anymore harm.
The dogs that would replace them would all be given special commands to fulfill special demands. These dogs would not have human voices but remain barking and whimpering. There are many reasons to why this solution would be indestructible. Firstly, the dogs would have collars on them just in case they get out of hand which would keep the government in order. They would be operated by the finest of the most intelligent scientists in the United States. Secondly, the dogs would make full proof decisions that would keep our government aligned.
Government shutdown will not be in their vocabulary. Thirdly, with the new white house employees not having human voices, the decisions will be made quickly and sufficiently. One bark for pass and two barks for no. Fourthly, one dog will be in charge of all others, in the same case as a president being in charge of humans. This one dog will be able to communicate to all others in the world as well, being bilingual. Fifthly, with the large property the white house stands on, the dogs will have plenty of running room to clear their heads before making rather large decisions.
Sixthly, no bad decisions will be made because the general public will be represented by a dog in every state, and input will be made. There might be some objections to this full proof plan, but everyone does have a separate opinion on matters. What if the dogs get out of hand and plummet our nation. What if the dogs take over the United States and we cannot do anything about it. How would the dogs know how to deal with such world like situations with no experience under their paws? This plan is obscure, it will never work, were all doomed they say. What about taxes and security what will happen with our nations debts and screw ups, will it all just disappear, there’s just no way.
I repeat, no bad decisions will be made and our government can’t possibly get worse from this point. Everything will be paid off throughout the years, with a meaningful plan and proposition. All problems will cease to exist once this phenomenon takes place. I could assure everyone that this would be the best solution to our problem at this point. There would be no going back, but what else can we do at this point, dogs would make better decisions than what we call a government today. Oh wait, we don’t have a government anymore, three weeks counting.