Three Rings of Clutter

A few weeks before school starts each year I eagerly travel to the local Staples to purchase school supplies. I pick out my pens, pencils, notebooks, and most importantly, my 3 ring binders. These binders always come with a neat, professional look that makes me feel important. As I stand in the checkout line I make a silent vow to maintain its striking characteristics.

I vow not to deface it by over stuffing the pockets or drawing pointless doodles on it. I swear to myself that I will not needlessly open and shut it hundreds of times for no reason other than my incessant need to fiddle thus causing the hinges to become hackneyed. Yet come the end of September my binder is the cluttered jumble I swore to avoid. Why does this continue to happen year after year? Because of that irritating thing we call Global Warming! Global Warming is an increase in the earth’s average atmospheric temperature that causes corresponding changes in climate and that may result from the greenhouse effect. How can that affect the state of a tenth-graders binder? First, the advocates of Global Warming are constantly filling my mind with fear, leaving no room to worry about common things such as binders.

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Second, the increasing temperature of my workplace by dramatic amounts makes it difficult to complete common tasks. Third and most important, Global Warming takes up all my spare time because I am constantly planting trees, smashing greenhouses, and killing cows. Have you ever tried to get a job done while “something” is constantly nagging at the back of your mind? This is how I feel because that “something”always looming in the background is the destruction of our entire world due to global warming. Global Warming is a real thing that will eventually kill us all unless I can fill my mind with ideas about how to avoid this seemingly inevitable fate. Trying to get a job completed, like cleaning out a binder, is impossible to do in the sweltering conditions that Global Warming has created.

Over the last 100 years the earth’s average surface temperature has increased by 1.33°F! If the earth continues to increase at that intolerable rate by the time I’m 116 years old, room temperature will be a little over 73°F!! How can a man work in such awful conditions? With Global Warming becoming such a gigantic problem I have no time to clean out my binder. As an informed human being I have taken the initiative and set out to fix the problem. I spend all of my free time planting trees (to increase atmospheric oxygen levels), Destroying green houses (to abolish the greenhouse-affect), and killing cows (to reduce the atmospheric methane levels). With all of this on my plate I have no time to clean out my binder.

All in all, I would love to keep my silent vow of keeping my binder clean. However, due to the major problem that is Global Warming I doubt I will ever fulfill this goal.