Why Mr. Hessler's Class is Top Drawer

Spend one day in Mr. Hessler’s class, and you will forget how much you hate math. Because let’s be honest, you hate math. You wouldn’t take it if colleges didn’t require it and/or prefer it.

He’s an intimidating guy at first glance, a big scary football coach, but once you take a seat in his Advanced Placement Advanced Honors Pre-Calculus and Discrete Mathematics class, as it is properly nicknamed, you’ll be writing an article about how it’s awesome too. Mr. Hessler is all about simplicity. According to him, dividing the top guy by the bottom guy will get you the quotient guy. He easily relates to students and knows how to make them understand math. He exerts much effort towards the seniors especially, preparing them for the college entrance exams.

Also, he’s not afraid to tell it like it is. If you suck, you’ll hear about it. If you’re good at math, you will most likely still suck, but don’t worry, it’s all in fun. [SIDEBAR: Mr. Hessler likes to go off topic.] Students are not only exposed to advanced mathematics with Mr.

Hessler, they are also exposed to unique pictures. These pictures make everyone’s day better. Looking at a grown man being pooped on by an elephant makes you appreciate what you have. Also, he puts quotes on the board that makes students ponder, and, on occasion, chuckle a hearty seaman’s laugh. Everyone looks forward to Mr.

Hessler’s class; he’s just a funny guy. He might even be considered a stage seven wackadoo, in a good way of course (see Trevor Block’s article on crazies and clingers). He looks forward to his job, unlike some teachers who hate kids. In Mr. Hessler’s class, a smiley face or frowning face is considered a mathematic sign.

Also, putting “Hawks” for every extra credit question will get you far. This will probably cause you to be the Student of the Hour; however, if you start to suck, you will quickly be demoted. Student of the Hour is a prestigious award in Mr. Hessler’s class. Only the rare prodigy is worthy. Mr.

Hessler’s class comes as a surprise to most people. Walking into his class is like smelling Glade; it’s a breath of fresh air. “It shocked me how committed this guy seemed” said Andrea McConnohie. “Because of his dedication, I was able to do the best I ever have in a math class.” There’s a reason why Arrowhead’s football team makes it to the WIAA State Championship virtually every year. Some may argue that the players are unstoppable, but in order to rack up points, a handy offensive coach is in order.

If this is what you’re looking for, Mr. Hessler is your guy. He uses a hodgepodge of crafty plays that truly mess up the other team’s defense…Marquette just got lucky. I don’t care if you have to wrestle a three hundred pound grizzly bear; you will take Pre-Calculus and Discrete Mathematics in high school. I don’t care if you have to steal a puppy, you will convince guidance to put you in Mr. Hessler’s class.

If you don’t, you suck…Mr. Hessler taught me that.