I see you there

I see you there Brandon I see you there, you’re a big chubby 7 year old boy; round like the whoppers you loved to devour handful by handful.You have stitches in your lip. You earned those stitches when your stepdad told you to haul wood to the back yard and you tripped over your big clumsy feet that you had not grown into yet. I see you there in your bedroom bawling; having just been whooped and grounded for a week. You got this punishment for playing ding dong ditch with your friends; a game in which you go around knocking on your neighbor’s door and then scurrying away without them seeing who knocked.

I see you there moving from town to town. Sometimes not having time to grab your toys because your parents move so abruptly. Your favorite toys of all were your Bakugans. The coolest contraptions known to mankind. Your parents decided to move so abruptly that you didn’t have the chance to grab them before you moved to a different town.

This being the most heartbreaking thing you’ve experienced you bawled like a baby. On the brighter side of things this feeling of loss would prepare you for greater loss in the future. Having no friends because as soon as you make friends you are thrown into a new group of kids. I see you there Brandon. You’re in your room playing with your woobie.It is a tainted brown color which used to be white.

When you drag them through the mud on all of your adventures, blankets get that way. You are fat like a toad and a smelly cow turd. You are anxious when your mom tells you to clean your room before you play video games so you shove all of your toys and clothes under your bed and leave them there for a month. Yet when it comes to cleaning the kitchen everything has to be perfect because the kitchen needs to be clean for your food to be clean. Looking back, I can see you.

You make me disgusted and you make me laugh. I admire your hope and your resilience. I hope to keep that part of my younger, disgusting self with me. Though I may look back with regrets, one thing I do not regret is the experiences I had to suffer through that prepared me to be the man that I am today.