The Secret That Broke The Family

“Mom, I’m gay” When I told my parents, it was their confirmation of condemnation and objection. They phrased this as an interruption from tradition–a lineage of Chinese-American kin. As a first generation student, this was certainly offensive.

All of this was intolerable. My parents believed that my mind was corrupted, that my thinking discoursed away from the “right way” of thinking. But I felt liberated, and at the same time discouraged with myself. I didn’t want to have my family experience this disgrace yet it brought my worst self in me. My announcement caused my removal from my family.

I was casted off, detached from all financial and social support. There are times when I wished I apologized for my sexuality–hiding my identity so they would mantle less burdens. They beared this idea so against nature, so disowning that they need to discard their own child. Even though this lead to neglect, I must never regret my decision. I should not blame my genetics nor question why my preferences are the way they are.

My coming out process was my strongest and weakest point of time. I quickly realized how to love myself and finding the support that my family could not give. Understanding this adversity demonstrated how much love I could really afford between friends and family. What my parents did was disappointing however I’m more upset that they lost a son who was importantly looking for happiness instead of theirs.