Are We Really Living in the '70s?

I was chillaxin’ on the couch with a bag of chips in my hand.

I fumble with my remote. I click the on button. Far out! Look it’s That ‘70s Show! Fez was just given a bottle of liquor I was told by Hyde that that would warm him right up. He takes a sip and blurts out, “It tastes like liquid candy”. Wait. Let’s back it up and rewind.

Fez said that the liquor tasted like liquid candy! Funny right? He said it tasted like candy in his crazy foreign ascent! Hilarious man! Oh wait… like let’s take That ‘70s Show off the air because they are telling what some kids in the made up place of Point Place, did in the ‘70s! Just because the actors like had sex, drank a beer, or smoked a joint means our kids will do that! Let’s run and over protect our kids’ from a year they don’t even care about! WRONG! Most of our kids have the common sense not to do what like some made up kids in a made up place did. Those who are real trouble makers will most likely figure out how do that stuff and never have to watch the show to have the idea. In the “Circle” the teens are seated in a circle and talking to each other; the setting is usually the character Eric Forman’s basement. The camera is usually spun in a circular direction, making a stop at each character when he or she speaks. They are smoking marijuana (that’s not really explained in the show, but you can tell because of the smoke in the background and the characters act like they are high). One of the circle quotes included: Fez: Eric, what do you want to call it when you want to stick two pieces of wood together? Eric: I think you’d call it “nailing”, Fez.

Just like Kelso nailed Hyde’s sister. Hyde: How long have you two been planning that line out? Eric: For about as long as it took Kelso to nail your sister. The show was released in 1998, on year before they released it, 7.81% of teenagers were under the influence of marijuana. That means teens had figured out that marijuana was a fun way to spend the time BEFORE That ’70s Show comes out. Wonder how they figured that out.

One year before the final taping of That ‘70s Show in 2006, the percentage of teens under the influence plummets to 6.71%. How did they do that? The show was still on. That must mean the show didn’t influence the teens to take the life away slowly! Ha-ha BURN! Now what about like drinking? Well, the most popular liquor drank by the teens of That ‘70s Show is beer. The teens would also drink any liquor they could get their hands on. But could this possible impact our children’s drinking? NO! In 1997 one year before the show came out 50% of teens drank.

So the show couldn’t possibly have like, any impacted on those teens. Then, in 2005 one year before the show ended the teen drinking rate when down 5% to just 45%! Tata! That means like that those teens must have only thought of the show as a way to past time! Not a way to live, right? Oh. What about sex? All Fez wanted in the first few season was to not be a virgin and to be the boss. That means he had to have sex! Kelso and Jackie had sex multiple times so has Donna and Eric. Red and Kitty always race up the stairs when they think about having sex.

Eric even walked in on Red and Kitty doing it. Ugh, and Lori had sex with any one she could. Even Kelso! Does this like mean our kids want to have sex because of those teens? Hmmm. Like NO! 1997, 70% of teens had had sex at least once. So That ‘70s Show had no impact on them. Then eight years later only 65% of those teens had sex.

Only 65%! So not all of them thought it was right time to do it. The must have thought above the silly teens in the imagery place of Point Place. Boo-yah! Is That ‘70s Show really that bad? Does it rot our kid’s brains? Bogus! Now excuse me man because I have to go Bogart a cigarette, drink a beer, and have sex, just… like… the… kid… on… the… TV. Now may the force be with you, and I’ll catch you on the flip side. Peace.