The Worst Man Dead: The Impaler

Ever thought that Dracula was a real vampire? Well, you’re about to find out.

Dracula was a terrible guy, he killed a lot of people even children, and it was horrible. Dracula’s nick name, before Dracula, was Vlad the Impaler because he liked to take blood baths, throw parties to kill people, and he was the prince in the Transylvanian fortress of Sghisoara. Who wants to be near this guy? Dracula liked to take blood baths, a lot! As it says in the book “Oh, Yikes!”, “Well for starters, folks said he dipped his bread in blood.” Dracula loved to do this a lot because for some reason he liked the taste of it. He also would take the blood from people and take baths in the blood.

That’s weird! When was the last time you remember hearing people dipping their bread in blood and taking blood baths? Dracula was so evil! He threw parties for peasants, but they weren’t so pleasant. As it says in the book, “Oh, Yikes”, “He excused himself, told his soldiers to board up and chain the doors closed, and set fire to the hall- burning all of his dinner guests to crisp.” Dracula was a sick man! How could he burn all of his people like that? The crazy thing is, after he killed everybody, he would cut off their heads and impale them on a stick. He might have enjoyed doing this. Maybe this was his favorite hobby. So, who was Dracula? His real name was Vlad the Impaler, he was the prince of a little Transylvanian fortress.

As it says in the website, ithaca.edu/history, “The real Dracula, Vlad Tepes the 3rd, Dracula, was born during the winter months of 1431 in the Transylvanian fortress of Sighisoara, located in Romania.” When Dracula was five, that’s when he started becoming a monster, but that’s all when he started a formal apprenticeship for knighthood. He was the middle son of three, too. There was Mircea, Vlad, and Radu were the typical sons of the nobility.

Maybe at some point he wasn’t that evil, after all he did become ruler 2 times. Now do you think Dracula is a real “vampire”? You can see that he’s not. All he did was dip his bread in blood, impale people on sticks, and he was the prince in a small part of Romania. He never actually sucked blood out of people’s bodies with fangs like some deranged monster. Now don’t worry about anything because Dracula wasn’t a vampire and there have never been vampires in the world, at all, but there are some really crazy people out there like Vlad, maybe even crazier. So be sure to have your pepper spray ready and watch out for those criminals!