Never Enough
Imagine your parent expects you to receive an A. On every single test. For every single subject. Math. English. Science.
History. If you fail to accomplish this, there are consequences. No texting. No television. No going out with friends.
How would you react? How would you feel? For some children, this scenario is a reality. This form of parenting is also known as authoritarian. The guardian enforces stern rules onto their son/daughter in order to discipline in a way they feel is adequate. Authoritarian parenting is ineffective because it results in delinquent child behavior, causes self esteem fluctuations, and denies the child of a healthy future. To begin, a child subjected to a disciplinarian guardian can develop erratic behavior outside of the household. Rick Trinkner, “doctoral candidate at the University of New Hampshire claims that “Kids do not view [their parents] as a legitimate authority figure and are more likely to break the rules,” if their parents are more controlling (Mann).
Establishing stern guidelines for a young individual can cause their attitude outside of the household to contradict their expected behavior. To proceed, Lori Wright, a part of the University of New Hampshire Media Relations, and Trinkner, explains that a child with an authoritarian parent views them as less commanding than a parent who is both “demanding” and “warm.” A demanding parent can cause the opposite effect on their child than they intend. Their child is more likely to perceive the strict rules they are given more casually, causing unpredictable behavior. Trinkner also mentions, “Adolescents from authoritarian parents are more likely to resist their parents’ attempts at socialization” . This son or daughter is more likely to follow the inverse direction their parent intends for them socially.
This can result with the child getting involved with friends the parent does not approve of. The child may even participate in delinquent behavior, especially by being influenced by peers. Ultimately, a child with a controlling parent will have trouble regulating their actions without their guardian’s supervision. To further illustrate, a teenager’s level of self confidence can alter negatively when having a dictatorial parent. Based on a personal level, the high standards can be too much for an adolescent to handle. Explained by Bianca Mgbemere and Rachel Telles, a child who has a parent that favors strict obedience will be more likely to develop a “low self esteem” and be “fearful or shy.
” Since the parent is always known as a significant authority figure in the child’s life, the child could quite easily develop a fear for the parent or believe they are not good enough to be their parent’s child. Subsequently, children with overly involved parents also may not have a realistic view of the world (Reyes). A child who is raised to trust their parent knows best could often develop social issues. The child may be bullied because of the guidelines they must follow at home. This can only further damage the child’s confidence.
At Macquarie University in Sydney, a study conducted in 2012 explains that children who had “overly-involved mothers” are more likely to have anxiety problems ( Reyes). Henceforth, a mother or father who expects only greatness out of their child can help trigger anxiety problems which can affect their teenager’s performance on a test, or sport. By overparenting, the parent is destroying their child’s confidence. Subsequently, an authoritarian parent is setting their child up for an unhealthy future. Whether it be living alone, raising their children, or determining their mental state, a person’s childhood memories can undeniably impact their impending life. For instance, an adolescent whose parent does everything for them, might not be capable of living on their own successfully in the future ( Reyes).
This will only cause the child to return to their parent for help when they cannot do everyday tasks such as doing the laundry, or using the stove. Although difficult, allowing children to make mistakes is important for them to learn and grow in the future (Levine).If a parent is constantly keeping their child from making a mistake, their child will never learn how to survive on their own in the real world: “A study that was published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies in 2013 found that college students who have been “over-parented” report decreased satisfaction with life.” (Reyes) If a child is being bossed around by their parent, he or she may feel powerless. Similarly, if their parent never lets him or her speak their mind, the child may never learn how to.
Moreover, children subjected to a strict parent during their childhood can only affect their future negatively. Zoe Reyes, expert therapist on anxiety and trauma claims that parents usually have good intentions when they feel the urge to “over parent their children.” Normally, parents only “want to keep [their children] safe.”A parent with this nature only believes they are upholding their responsibilities to protect their child. Although this particular argument does have merit, this therapist has failed to consider how this method of parenting can influence their teenagers forthcoming life. On the occasion that a parent and child have a trusting relationship, the child would should acquire the intelligence to recognize right from wrong.
This would counsel them away from trouble, without direct guidance from their parent.”Authoritative parents are easy to recognize, as they are marked by the high expectations that they have of their children, but temper these expectations with understanding a support for their children as well”add (Bianca Mgbemere and Rachel Telles). It has been shown that a parent with this nature gets positive results of child’s success and behavior. This authoritative parenting allows the child to know what they are expected, but still allow their child a voice and an opinion in the relationship. This type of parenting is a much better alternative. Next, significant “childhood influences can have profound effect on the developing brain” (Charlie Cooper).
The child’s childhood has a great effect on their future. If they have always had certain traits because of their parents, those traits will always be with them. Obviously, authoritarian parenting is not benefitting the child or the parent. As aforementioned, authoritarian parenting is not a proficient way of raising a child. A strict parent indirectly encourages erratic child behavior. Another disadvantage being that it causes self confidence issues within the child, as well as damages his or her future.
If parents continue to use this method raise their adolescent, our world will become a place nobody will recognize. In the future, these children will be faced with situations they are not equipped to handle. The Presidential election. Terrorism. Pollution.
Overpopulation. Had these children been subjected to obstacles as catastrophic as these, there is no way of predicting the outcome. Children being raised today are our world’s future. If we do not pave the correct road, where will everybody else end up?
